By Daniel B. Kline
Pretty much everyday the various news programs report that a bunch of financial analysts have released some very long reports that either say the economy has improved or that it has gotten slightly worse. This news will be reported and debated then used by the various talking head television shows to either bury President Barack Obama’s performance or praise it.
This will, of course, dramatically influence the life of average Americans as financial reports and the analysis of financial reports determines how things actually are. You may have no job and limited prospects for one in the future, but the Russell & Stovers 600 Index says the economy has climbed 1.3% so put away your troubles and dance for joy.
Ignore your huge credit card debt, your late mortgage payments and the fact that your 30-year-old kids now live in your basement, some guy on cable news read a study that said things are improving. This works perfectly for people who, after a horrible, undercooked meal full of hair, sand and other debris report that they enjoyed the experience because the restaurant gets good reviews.
Reality, unfortunately, does not seem to have anything to do with the financial results that the TV news seems to love so much. The minor movements of various indexes might tell us something on a gross level, but they do not reflect the actual situation.
To know the state of the economy simply spend an hour sitting in your local coffee shop and just listen to the conversation. People might feel a little more hopeful, but an awful lot of folks still need jobs and the only place the recession has ended appears to be on television.
In fact, according to my television and the fine folks at my local NBC affiliate, the recession has not only ended, it ended a year ago. Never mind the high unemployment and the fact that your house is now worth less Roger Clemens’ rookie card, our economic woes actually went away a year ago.
There’s clearly an absurd disconnect between financial data and financial reality. It’s great that a bunch of eggheads think that the economy has taken a turn for the better, but now we need for it to actually happen.
The recession will be over when everyone who wants a job has one within let’s say 20% of the income they made before the recession. When people go back to work and have hope for a better tomorrow, then the talking heads on TV can declare the recession over.
Until real people see their world improve, we have nothing to celebrate no matter what the data says.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com or befriend him at facebook.com/dankline. Follow him on Twitter, @worstideas.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Daytime TV pretty much a sad wasteland
By Daniel B. Kline
While Lady Gaga’s insufferable “Let’s Dance” played, Ellen Degeneres made her way to the stage “dancing” in the semi-awkward style she has made famous. Not merely a quick intro bit before her show begins, this went on for multiple minutes and the audience screamed with delight.
Unless you happen to love Ms. Gaga or really enjoy seeing a tomboyish middle-aged woman with a bad haircut jerking around, nothing even vaguely entertaining was happening. The crowd did not seem to notice that as they were reacting like John Lennon and George Harrison had risen from the dead to perform for Oprah while she gave out free trips, cars and it rained hundred dollar bills.
The rest of Ellen’s show was only slightly better as she repeated the dancing bit each time a new guest came on so she could ask them essentially nothing. This spectacle seemed especially sad to me since Degeneres had once been a funny standup and at one point seemed like a comic who actually had something to say.
As someone who works at home much of the time, I now see television programs I never would have watched otherwise. Clearly, a 36-year-old professional working on his couch is not the target for any of these programs, but judging by the inanity of the content pretty much across the board, I’d be scared to meet the person who is.
The most egregious offender might be the fourth hour of the “Today” show starring what appears to be an intoxicated Kathie Lee Gifford and her seemingly equally inebriated co-host Hoda Kotb. Aside from drinking on air, these two mostly seem to find ways to insult each other or make jokes at their guests’ expense.
I made the joke on Facebook recently that if “Today” thought it was logical to follow Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira with Kathie Lee and Hoda, then look forward to hour five of “Today” starring “The Situation” and Khloe Khardashian. That would only be topped when they introduce hour six featuring Osama bin Laden and “Bombshell” McGee.
Hoda and Kathie Lee aren’t even the most annoying women on in the morning, however, as ABC stations still air “The View.” This sad end to Barbara Walters’ career features a bunch of women talking over each other with it being essentially impossible to make out any individual words. This has proven a positive for the show because whenever you can hear an opinion it’s something like Sherri Shepherd saying that she doesn’t believe the world is round or disavowing evolution.
Of course, if you want to prove the theory of evolution, you merely need to turn the channel to “Live with Regis and Kelly,” because judging by his level of coherence, Regis could give Shepherd a first-hand account. Once a pretty good performer, Regis has sunk into Larry King territory and Kelly seems nice, but has nothing to say that anyone could want to listen to.
The only constants to all these programs and the rest of their daytime ilk seems to be audiences that scream over nothing and laugh at unfunny jokes. Is it just so fun to be at a TV show that people get entertained by nothing? If that’s the case, then why pay Ellen or Regis, we should just send out the bear in a tutu on a unicycle.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com or befriend him at facebook.com/dankline. Follow him on Twitter, @worstideas.
While Lady Gaga’s insufferable “Let’s Dance” played, Ellen Degeneres made her way to the stage “dancing” in the semi-awkward style she has made famous. Not merely a quick intro bit before her show begins, this went on for multiple minutes and the audience screamed with delight.
Unless you happen to love Ms. Gaga or really enjoy seeing a tomboyish middle-aged woman with a bad haircut jerking around, nothing even vaguely entertaining was happening. The crowd did not seem to notice that as they were reacting like John Lennon and George Harrison had risen from the dead to perform for Oprah while she gave out free trips, cars and it rained hundred dollar bills.
The rest of Ellen’s show was only slightly better as she repeated the dancing bit each time a new guest came on so she could ask them essentially nothing. This spectacle seemed especially sad to me since Degeneres had once been a funny standup and at one point seemed like a comic who actually had something to say.
As someone who works at home much of the time, I now see television programs I never would have watched otherwise. Clearly, a 36-year-old professional working on his couch is not the target for any of these programs, but judging by the inanity of the content pretty much across the board, I’d be scared to meet the person who is.
The most egregious offender might be the fourth hour of the “Today” show starring what appears to be an intoxicated Kathie Lee Gifford and her seemingly equally inebriated co-host Hoda Kotb. Aside from drinking on air, these two mostly seem to find ways to insult each other or make jokes at their guests’ expense.
I made the joke on Facebook recently that if “Today” thought it was logical to follow Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira with Kathie Lee and Hoda, then look forward to hour five of “Today” starring “The Situation” and Khloe Khardashian. That would only be topped when they introduce hour six featuring Osama bin Laden and “Bombshell” McGee.
Hoda and Kathie Lee aren’t even the most annoying women on in the morning, however, as ABC stations still air “The View.” This sad end to Barbara Walters’ career features a bunch of women talking over each other with it being essentially impossible to make out any individual words. This has proven a positive for the show because whenever you can hear an opinion it’s something like Sherri Shepherd saying that she doesn’t believe the world is round or disavowing evolution.
Of course, if you want to prove the theory of evolution, you merely need to turn the channel to “Live with Regis and Kelly,” because judging by his level of coherence, Regis could give Shepherd a first-hand account. Once a pretty good performer, Regis has sunk into Larry King territory and Kelly seems nice, but has nothing to say that anyone could want to listen to.
The only constants to all these programs and the rest of their daytime ilk seems to be audiences that scream over nothing and laugh at unfunny jokes. Is it just so fun to be at a TV show that people get entertained by nothing? If that’s the case, then why pay Ellen or Regis, we should just send out the bear in a tutu on a unicycle.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com or befriend him at facebook.com/dankline. Follow him on Twitter, @worstideas.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Do as I say, not as I did?
By Daniel B. Kline
My six-year-old son -- who just entered first grade -- now has homework. As a responsible parent, I’m supposed to support this concept and dutifully encourage him to complete the required tasks pretending that I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of students being sent home with schoolwork.
I’m have to maintain this pose over the next 12 years as the workload increases and occasional assignments become nightly ones lasting for hours. Homework is supposedly a good thing, so grownups are forced to support it -- even those of us who never endorsed the concept as students and question its validity now.
For most of my academic career I devoted the time between homeroom and my first class to homework though I’m pretty sure “homeroom” was not the intended home for the work to be done in. During this seven minutes or so I scratched out answers to whatever math problems I could and maybe I studied a little for any test that might be in my future that day.
Most days, though, I didn’t bother to even fake an attempt at homework, instead spending the time talking with my friend Nicole, who – due to the miracle of sitting alphabetically – had been in close proximity since elementary school. She wasn’t much of a homework doer either, so we were eager to encourage each other to neglect our assignments in favor of a couple of minutes of discussion.
In general, I pretty much never did any homework while actually at home. I’m sure I completed a major report or two outside of school, but those were surely exceptions and in general I pretty much ignored whatever my teachers wanted me to do at night, usually to the detriment of my grades.
Not doing homework did not mean, however, that I did not do any work. I diligently read all assigned book, often accomplishing this during class where 45 minutes would be spent on a couple of text book pages. This “strategy” tended to be a failure too as by the time a test occurred on any topic, I had already read countless other things and had forgotten the minutia that made up most teachers’ tests.
I wish I could say that as a grownup, I now feel bad that I mostly didn’t do my homework. I can’t though because there’s still a large part of me that believes that in an almost eight hour school day, we should be able to create a system where very little work has to come home.
Obviously, kids need to learn how to complete work on their own and certain concepts taught in school need reinforcing at home. I wonder, though, why we want our children spending more than full-time work hours on only one part of their development?
Why not carve out an hour of the school day for studying, completing independent projects and doing other “home” work? That way, students could have the benefit of working on their own with the resources of a school and its teachers nearby.
If all homework had to be completed during this one hour period, then teachers would have to collectively gauge the value of their assignments. Of course, some studying for tests could be done at home and nothing would stop students from doing extra work, but the bulk of the assignments would be done during a student’s “work” day and not at home.
Sadly, though, I hardly see homework reform as a topic any school system seems likely to tackle and most parents take the “I had to do it, so you should too approach.” Personally, I’m fine with my son putting in an eight hour day at school then having the rest of the day for sports, Cub Scouts or whatever extracurricular activities he chooses.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com or befriend him at facebook.com/dankline. Follow him on Twitter, @worstideas.
My six-year-old son -- who just entered first grade -- now has homework. As a responsible parent, I’m supposed to support this concept and dutifully encourage him to complete the required tasks pretending that I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of students being sent home with schoolwork.
I’m have to maintain this pose over the next 12 years as the workload increases and occasional assignments become nightly ones lasting for hours. Homework is supposedly a good thing, so grownups are forced to support it -- even those of us who never endorsed the concept as students and question its validity now.
For most of my academic career I devoted the time between homeroom and my first class to homework though I’m pretty sure “homeroom” was not the intended home for the work to be done in. During this seven minutes or so I scratched out answers to whatever math problems I could and maybe I studied a little for any test that might be in my future that day.
Most days, though, I didn’t bother to even fake an attempt at homework, instead spending the time talking with my friend Nicole, who – due to the miracle of sitting alphabetically – had been in close proximity since elementary school. She wasn’t much of a homework doer either, so we were eager to encourage each other to neglect our assignments in favor of a couple of minutes of discussion.
In general, I pretty much never did any homework while actually at home. I’m sure I completed a major report or two outside of school, but those were surely exceptions and in general I pretty much ignored whatever my teachers wanted me to do at night, usually to the detriment of my grades.
Not doing homework did not mean, however, that I did not do any work. I diligently read all assigned book, often accomplishing this during class where 45 minutes would be spent on a couple of text book pages. This “strategy” tended to be a failure too as by the time a test occurred on any topic, I had already read countless other things and had forgotten the minutia that made up most teachers’ tests.
I wish I could say that as a grownup, I now feel bad that I mostly didn’t do my homework. I can’t though because there’s still a large part of me that believes that in an almost eight hour school day, we should be able to create a system where very little work has to come home.
Obviously, kids need to learn how to complete work on their own and certain concepts taught in school need reinforcing at home. I wonder, though, why we want our children spending more than full-time work hours on only one part of their development?
Why not carve out an hour of the school day for studying, completing independent projects and doing other “home” work? That way, students could have the benefit of working on their own with the resources of a school and its teachers nearby.
If all homework had to be completed during this one hour period, then teachers would have to collectively gauge the value of their assignments. Of course, some studying for tests could be done at home and nothing would stop students from doing extra work, but the bulk of the assignments would be done during a student’s “work” day and not at home.
Sadly, though, I hardly see homework reform as a topic any school system seems likely to tackle and most parents take the “I had to do it, so you should too approach.” Personally, I’m fine with my son putting in an eight hour day at school then having the rest of the day for sports, Cub Scouts or whatever extracurricular activities he chooses.
Daniel B. Kline's work appears in over 100 papers weekly. He can be reached at dan@notastep.com or you can see his archive at dbkline.com or befriend him at facebook.com/dankline. Follow him on Twitter, @worstideas.
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